When I think of the TV show I Love Lucy, the first picture that pops in my head is Ethel in Lucy's apartment. It is not that Lucy was NEVER at Ethel's, but it was very rare.
Lucy was very selfish and always acted on impulse out of a selfish mindset. Me, me, me. My life, what I want, what I deserve. Ethel was very supportive but they did get into tiffs every now and then.
Now let us think of two friends. One always going over the others house, always meeting in their house/town, and almost always calling them. Everyone wants to be a Lucy. Everyone going to them, calling them, having others bend to fit around them.
So if everyone is Lucy, where are the Ethel's?
Who wants to be the one adjusting to others all the time?
If you do have Ethel's in your life, are you thankful to them and compensate somehow that you are the Lucy? What would be compensation in a friendship, anyway?
If one friend always adjust to the you ALL THE TIME, what do they need in return? Maybe just the conversation rotating around them for a while. Or simply, you picking up the tab for dinner to compensate for the gas and extra time it took them to meet you in your town. Just some way for that friend to feel appreciated, I guess it would depend on that Ethel-friend and what kind of friend you are to them to customize how you can show them you appreciate them.
Friendship, like any relationship (with a spouse, with the Lord), should not have any trace of selfishness in it. If it does, then that will be the crack that keeps separating over time.
A new year has started, a whole new decade. Let us all take this moment to evaluate our friendships and see if we harbor any selfishness in them. Start fresh, each day is a new day. It doesn't matter how it was, but it does matter how it will be.
In Matthew 7:12, it says
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
If you expect others to be an Ethel to you, then you need to be an Ethel to them. That is what compromise is all about. That is what living righteous is all about, with a clean heart ....no selfishness.